In January of 2017 – another acceleration in my life occurred when I was guided by my spirit team to write out my family template. At that time I was feeling pretty good, overall. I had spent many years doing shadow and inner child healing work and felt clear of the wounding from my abusive childhood. However, I was noticing that I was still attracting the occasional narcissist into my life. Even amongst those who consider them selves spiritual, there was still narcissistic energy in the mix. I asked spirit – Why?
I was given a two part answer.
But first I must say, if you are a twin flame this information will be specifically important to you and your journey if you’ve been affected by narcissism. For some twin flames, we are here to clear the dark energy of narcissism from our selves and the world as part of our ascensionary work. For this reason twin flames often choose to be born into heavily abusive family templates of Narcissism. As twin flames we choose these families because we are masters at soul level of transmuting lower energies. We are not small and insignificant as we are made to Feel at our human levels by being raised in the mental disorder of narcissism that infected our parents, and those who were in roles to hold power over us as children. Healing is not about blame, it’s about Truth. Narcissism is a disease, a mental illness, a distortion of energy. This is what we come to heal – first in our selves and in doing so it heals humanity. Healing this lower energy, individually and collectively, is deep soul work, and part of our mission. It is part of what we came here to do in order to assist the planet and the human collective to move from 3D (fear: Service to Self) to 5D (love: Original). Each time twin flames transmute and transcend the wounding and negative energy patterning incurred from our childhood we are not only doing the necessary healing and clearing work for Sacred Union with our Twin, we also assist our Twin and our entire bloodlines going generations back through what is known as The Quantum Field. The Quantum Field is the connective tissue of Creation. It is Pure Divine Love – Oneness. It is the fabric of energy which connects All. It is fluid and alive. It fluctuates when we do. As we heal, we Re-code, Re-turn, Re-calibrate – Upgrade – our frequency from Wounded to Original. This upgraded frequency creates a ripple effect throughout the quantum field to those around us, as well as our ancestral patterning. It affects the very DNA of Humanity in all directions of time and space. Everything is energy, and so Every Thing is connected. The effects of this upgraded energy will feel very subtle for our family members – it takes longer for lower frequency unconscious to integrate the higher frequency, but over time you will see and feel a difference in them. Mostly, you will feel the difference in your self, and it is huge. This will also bring about an upgraded frequency in your Twin through the energetic connection you share as same soul energy.
The first of the two part answer is that narcissism is, and has been around for a very long time – ‘ages’ they said. It is deeply embedded throughout the human collective on this planet. The majority of humans are running, or suffering, from some level of a narcissistic energy template. They are either a narcissist, or like me – they are an empath born into it and therefore the energetic imprint of it is running as active in their energy field. It is so prevalent in society that few people escape being impacted by it throughout their lives
I was shown that at it’s very origin it vibrates to Satan’s frequency. Narcissists are predators – they need a food source. It is part of the dark agenda that infected this planet at the time of the Archon invasion that resulted in the fall from 5th density to 3rd density eons ago. This is the Service to Self agenda – Greed – that is actually the opposite of Love. Some think the opposite to Love as being Fear – but it is not. Service to Self is the lowest frequency. It is a vacuum. It only knows Take.
At the energetic level Narcissism is parasitic – it needs a host to survive. It seeks to dominate and dis-empower through those around us. It works through bullying, shaming, blaming, discounting, gaslighting. It steals our self worth. This is why it feels so draining to be around a narcissist – why we feel power-less. And, why it is important to become very conscious of them in your life.
If you are a twin flame, it is even more important to be aware of narcissists. Narcissism is a very low vibration. Those who operate in this energy become portals for even lower energy. Twin flames, and our mission to Anchor Light on the planet, are a direct threat to the dark energy that is attempting to maintain control of this planet. The Light Forces have already tripped Ascension to its final phases, so nothing can stop it, but the dark still targets us through those around us who operate in narcissism. They can only effect us if we are not in awareness, if we are unaware. Our awareness makes it inert. They are less likely to prey on those who See.
As children we do not know how to deal with this abuse and oppression, and so we shut down our hearts, and sometimes our minds to block it out. We save it for later in life when we can process it through our adult selves.
Narcissism is a very convoluted mental illness, as no empathy. Because there is a disconnect from the heart – our feeling center, our moral compass – there is a lack of connection, feeling and self awareness about the pain they inflict on others. Without self awareness there is no ability to receive the feedback loop, the sensation, of what they are sending out to check themselves; to feel how their behaviors affect others. Narcissists are often pathological liars, and delusional. Without self awareness Narcissism is blind to itself.
The heart is our connection to the Divine, to Source. It is how we bring in life-force energy. The portal of the heart allows pure divine energy to flow in and through us as Love. Without this connection, as in narcissism, it must be siphoned from others. Narcissists are literally energy vampires. They must harvest the energy of others due to their own disconnect from Source.
Healing the narcissistic template is not an easy undertaking. It must be healed energetically. It is emotional and spiritual healing. It can not be healed with pharmaceuticals that mainstream medicine will push. This only subdues and prolongs the process. The emotional purges we experience during the dark night of the soul are energetic releases. It releases the stress and the low vibrational stored energy we took on during our wounding.
Education is also vital to the process. Narcissism must be recognized and identified for what it is. This is why I was guided to learn all I could about it – to learn the truth about what I experienced as a child. I highly recommend the exploration of the youtube channels of Joanna Kujath & Richard Grannon. They each contain a wealth of helpful information. The more you understand narcissism the more it will support your healing journey.
Narcissism has many faces, so at first it can be difficult to identify. They can be very polite when you first meet them, in fact they are often overly polite (aka covert narcissist). Some though, do not bother, especially if they are in positions of power. (overt narcissist). Either way you will soon identify them by their manipulation tactics, and the other classic signs such as gaslighting and projection. They are the office gossipers, those who secretly work to undermine those around them to better position themselves. Anyone who reminds you of your parents, who triggers memories and feelings of your childhood, is likely operating in narcissism.
Like many who are in recovery, I am an Empath at soul level who was raised by two parents who were deeply embedded with a narcissistic template, therefore I obtained a narcissistic overlay of energy. It was what felt normal to me as I grew into adulthood and why I attracted narcissists into my life – one after another later in life. The first man I married was a narcissist and very abusive- he was what felt normal to me. But the pattern continued to friends, places of employment filled with narcissism, and so on. This is common for many people who suffer in their adult lives from the wounding they receive from being raised in narcissism.
Empaths are the opposite of narcissists, we feel everything, so narcissism is extremely traumatizing for us. Narcissism is abuse in all forms – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.
As children we often absorb and mimic the narcissist behaviors in order to survive amongst them. When you are raised by narcissistic parents, or those in parental roles, you are stripped of everything that supports your journey in life: self love, self worth, self-trust. You must go forth and reclaim what was taken.
The second part of the answer from my spirit team came with a task – I was advised to write out my family template. What the heck is a family template? I asked. I was given the following questions and told to start writing and it would unfold.
While growing up:
- Who was in charge of making the Rules?
- What were the Rules? What did the Rules say? Who did the Rules apply to?
- What happened when the Rules were not followed? What specifically were the consequences/punishments?
- Where did the person making the Rules learn how to make the Rules? Go back as far as you can with those you met, those you know, or knew. Maybe you heard ‘stories’ of family members who you never met, include those too. Most people only know a generation or two above them, so follow your memories as far as they go back.
This will be your family template. For me it turned out to be a very long standing template of narcissism handed down through my bloodlines as far back as I could see on both sides of my family. I could see the descending family members who carried it and passed it on. I could also see family members, who like me were empaths and who were not narcissists, but who carried an energetic imprint from simply being ‘in it’. It is a shadow self, or pain body self, where it quietly remains causing mayhem in our lives by causing us to behave in ways that are not true to our empathic nature. This also creates a pattern of attracting narcissists to us until it is brought into our conscious awareness and cleared.
Even though I had healed my consciousness of my wounding from being in a narcissistic upbringing I had not yet cleared the energy of it from my Being. To clear the energy you must identify it, SEE IT AS NOT YOU, and extricate your self from it by seeing your self as separate from it – IN IT BUT NOT OF IT.
It took me three days to complete this work. The main body happened in the first few hours and it just poured out of me. I began with my mother, who was the Queen of our family. We worked diligently to please her, because not doing so brought punishment. As I wrote, my narcissistic family tree grew. It extended to my dad, in lesser degrees than my queen mother, and grew other branches that included other Kings and Queens above and laterally to my parents. It grew into a big tree.
On day three when it felt complete and as I sat staring at my *family tree* an interesting thing happened. I had what felt like an out-of-body experience. At my deepest and highest levels I heard my self say: This is not me, it was what I was born into.
An energetic separation had occurred in that moment and I felt my very own soul essence for the very first time in this human body.
As I sat there staring at my family tree I could clearly feel my very own energy separate and expand away from that of my family’s. I was able to Energetically, not just mentally, free my self of it.
By seeing my family tree outside of me, I was able to disconnect and disentangle my self completely from something that was absolutely Not Me.
In Knew the truth of who I was: Love. I was not a branch in this tree. It was the biology I was born in to. I experienced a whole other level of awakening in this moment of realization.
This explained why I had felt so foreign in my family – a family that was full of Kings and Queens who were abusive in all forms – and who turned a blind eye to a pedophile in the ranks amongst them who wreaked havoc with all the children he could. A family of Kings and Queens who did not nurture their children, but were quick to punish and oppress them. The list goes on.. and I will kindly spare you.
I could see why spirit wanted me to do this work – I was shown literally what JC taught: We are in this world, not of it. We are love – we are conscious and feeling. when we feel we learn, we grow, we expand, we thrive, we evolve. When we are taught fear, we disconnect, we shrink, we suffer.
I was now free of my family template of narcissism.
I probably can not convey in words how healing this was for me, how much better I felt, how free I felt. It also released me from blaming my parents, which was a tremendous relief all in its own. It enabled me to feel empathy for them. I understood that they too, were just on their soul’s journey doing the best that they could. That they too chose a family to be born into that would also challenge their lives by limiting their ability to feel, their ability to love. It is rare to find a family that does not have some level of narcissism, so most souls have no choice but to be born into it – narcissism is the prevalent frequency running the third dimension here on Earth. It’s why souls who are empathic and who have healing abilities are being born here during these times – to break this low vibrational patterning up so it can be transformed and cleared. This is what is and will raise the frequency of the planet.
If you feel guided to do this work, as I did, or in any form you feel guided, be kind with your self as you go. Create a space when you will have some privacy and time to process through it. Take as long as you need until it feels complete. Honor your emotions as they come up and let them have their free expression. This wounding occurred a long time ago. The ever present inner child has been waiting a long time for the adult version of us to be able to feel what presented long ago and to assure them that everything is ok, that we are safe. Let it move through and out of you. As you write and release it you are also releasing it from your energy body. As you go through this process Know that your spirit team is right there with you helping you with it, you will not be alone.
I wrote this out on my computer, but you can do it any way that feels right for you. It could be artistically expressed on paper, or with a drawing board and markers. It doesn’t matter the how, only the do. The bottom line is putting it out in front of you and separating your self from it and seeing it outside of you.
If you have questions, or would like to share about your journey please contact me.
Shared with love ♡